5 STEPS TO MOVING FORWARD WITH INTENTION
Moving forward can have a lot of different meanings. You might be moving forward after a hard day, yelling at your kids, crap work meeting, or anything in between.
Regardless of what you are moving forward from, I have a proven method that has worked for myself and many other women who had to just. keep. going.
If we think about it logically - moving forward is essentially redirecting our thoughts + actions to get us from where we are to where we want to be. There are a few very key principles to doing that with success. Success meaning: aligning with our goals + values.
Let’s get into it.
PAUSE // The very first thing we have to do in the moving forward process is pause. You might be thinking… wait… if the goal is moving why would we first stop? Well, we have to slow down our thoughts. We have to stop moving and taking in distracting stimulus so that we can narrow in on the present moment. Whether that means closing your eyes, sitting still or locking yourself in your bathroom for a few minutes of silence…. just pause.
FEEL // Once we are paused, take a second to take inventory of how you are feeling. What emotions are coursing through you? What feelings are coming up in the silence? Take as much time as you need here - allow yourself to honor and accept any feelings that come up for you. If it’s helpful, and available write them down so you can visually see your emotions in this situation.
REFLECT // Now take a bit of time to reflect on those feelings + emotions. Where do you think these feelings are coming from? Is this how you would like to feel in this situation? Is this emotion + feeling fitting given the circumstances or is there something deeper going on? This reflection time is really in place to help you reflect on this situation [where the next step thinks about just that, the next step]
***be sure in this time, you honor, accept and acknowledge that the feelings you have are real + valid no matter what anyone else thinks***THINK // Here is where we make the conscious thoughts… we round up all the information we have gathered so far, and we think about what changes we can make. If your reflection time showed you that you actually don’t want to feel this way as a result of XYZ situation… what could you do differently next time? How could adjust your mindset to create a different outcome? And not only that, but think about how you want to move on from this situation right now. How do you want to leave this moment and head into your next moment? Do you want to have a position mindset, think about that. Do you want to be present and out of a dwelling state, think about how you will do that. What are your values and how can you move into that direction, the direction of your goals. As I mentioned in step 3, this step is thinking about what is next. We are passed reflection and are not thinking about how things could have been different, but rather how things will BE different.
ACT // Our thoughts directly impact our actions. So when we think about what we want and envision that, we are more likely to successfully act in alignment with our values + goals. You’ve already thought about the steps, so now it’s time to act on it. Go do what you set out to do. If you wanted to head into your next moment with a positive mindset, take a deep breath, put on a smile and hold your head up high with enthusiasm as you leave this moment.
When we PRACTICE these steps, like anything else, it becomes our habit to move through it in times of need / want.
There are going to be days where we have to walk through this process 10x just to make it through. And other days you might not even need it. BUT.. the biggest thing is having this strategy in place: 5 Steps to Moving Forward with Intention.
I want to give an example of what this might look like in practice:
SETTING THE SCENE: You spent 45 minutes preparing dinner after a full on stressful day of work, everyone complained they didn’t want what you made, didn’t like it etc. Your partner is oblivious to how this might make you feel, and the kids are becoming pure chaos because they are hungry, but of course just aren’t interested in the meal you prepared.
You KNOW that your emotions are heightened because your work day was a lot and you didn’t really fully transition from work mode to chef mode to mom mode… and it’s really just… A LOT. Not to mention you have a running to do list that currently has 37,000 things on it.
Here is where these 5 Steps to Moving Forward with Intention can come in handy.
Once you become AWARE that you are in this heightened state, and you know this isn’t how you want the rest of you night [or life for that matter lol] to go, you can initiate step 1.
PAUSE // Slip away. For me, it would be shutting the baby gate and going upstairs into the bathroom and turning on the fan so I can’t hear the chaos. Lean or sit and close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to center yourself in the here and now. Focus on your breath for a few seconds, just long enough to be where your feet are.
FEEL // Now, allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Is it stress, overwhelm, overstimulation, under-appreciated? In this situation, it would be all of the above for me.
REFLECT // In reflecting on these emotions, you might honor your feelings as being valid - you’ve had a long / hard day. You might tell yourself “it’s okay to be stressed, today was stressful”
THINK // When you move onto thinking, we are thinking of next steps. So you might say, “Yes today was stressful, but the evening doesn’t have to be. I want to enjoy my time with my kids and I want to create an environment to do that.”
ACT // Another deep breath can be super valuable in this transition to action. You might verbally say out loud “okay, let’s make it a good night”. Maybe you physically shake out the stress and force a smile to show up to your family with new energy. For me, changing the environment is super helpful. So that could mean transitioning to upstairs, going outside or just simply leaving the kitchen table. But we act, we move forward with the intentions we set.
This whole process might take a total of 5 minutes, which I know can seem like an eternity to a toddler so they might panic the first few times you do this. But as I mentioned above, for humans, with enough consistency we get used to things and it becomes our normal. Your kids CAN get used to mommy taking a few minutes to herself.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this strategy.
Comment below…
Does it seem like a realistic way to move forward for you?
Are there any adjustments you would make to align it better with your life?
How do you think this could impact your day in a positive way?
What might be the benefits of practicing this with consistency?
Start slow, ease in.
Sending you love.